THRIVE

Yes, this is plug for Le-Vel. 😉

I’ve been Thriving for 2.5 years now and I have never felt better. We aren’t supposed to make medical claims but I’m telling you, I was on the verge of medication for high cholesterol and hypertension and within 8 months I was in normal ranges. coincidence? Maybe but I highly doubt that.

Fast forward to July 13th (Friday, July 13th) when I had to have major emergency surgery with an expected 4-6 month recovery time. Here we are 2.5 months into it and the doctors are moderately surprised at my progress thus far. Again, Coincidence? Maybe but…

Yesterdays follow-up doctor appointment was a real upper for me not only to find out I’m healing faster than anticipated but because my surgery was finally explained to me in detail with diagrams and models and I feel lucky to be alive!! I knew I could have died, so I already felt lucky to be alive, but actually seeing what went wrong and what they had to do to fix it was both frightening and amazing.

I guess this wasn’t just a plug for Le-Vel it was a plug for doctors who do their jobs with extraordinary skill as well. ❤

Janeway

~Jane

Just Vote

Please people, WAKE UP!!!!

It scares the hell out of me that people don’t have the foresight or even care to watch the news and keep up with current political events. If you’ve been paying real attention to what’s going on you’d be just as terrified as I am about the mid terms, about our country and it’s future.

We are already in a civil war; media, dems and the deep state VS Trump and the republican patriots. I know there are people shaking their heads because they can’t see it. They can’t see it because they don’t want to and it’s sad. More than sad, it is downright frightening.

We need Kavanaugh so we can finally get things cleaned up! If you have watched any of the hearings you know exactly what I mean. Take a look at Lindsey Graham and Ted Cruz interviews for starters…

Please people, WAKE UP!!!!

I hope you vote RED but please just vote!!!!

~Jane

 

Lists and stuff…

Oh hey, let’s get back on track here. Where were we? Oh! Lists.

I used to be a crastinator, then I went pro. I didn’t make that up but I love it and it fits!

It’s going into fall, my favorite time of the year. Time to make my lists. I make a list for everything, there’s even a list of lists! A girl has to keep organized, especially when she is a procrastinator. I’m not saying the things on my list don’t get done, they do (mostly) but a lot of times its last-minute. I’ve come to accept the fact that, that is how I roll and I do my best work under pressure and impending deadlines.

I have to admit this summer was a bust for the most part. It started out great then mid July it took a turn. I pretty much dumped my lists in the trash after that. No sense going over them constantly and not being able to make those, oh so satisfying, check marks. It was depressing. Time to start over with the new season! Granted, I will have to make sure I make my lists within reason, particularly the To Do List. Baby steps, is what they say. I say, grandma steps. I feel like that is a bit more sophisticated. Ha!

So, we are going away for the long weekend and I still have a “few” things to get done (remember, I work best under pressure) before we leave early in the morning. The problem I have right now is thinking about my lists and where to start. Logic tells me to start with September’s house projects and updates, move on to October’s decor and Halloween shenanigans, then November… you get where I’m going with it. My heart tells me to start with my Christmas gift list. This will be my granddaughters first Christmas and I don’t want to go overboard but I want it to be special. What needs to happen is for me to start sewing on her quilt. Which is kind of funny since I haven’t finished my own kids’ quilts yet. How much would you like to bet the baby’s gets done first? 😉

Another thing about me and my lists… I like pretty paper. I like pretty office supplies in general but I love paper. I REALLY love the Me and My Big Idea planners. This is my second year of owning one. They are so pretty with their inspirational quotes and you can decorate them with colored pens and stickers. I even bought the instant camera that shoots out pictures that are stickers, they fit perfectly in the boxes provided on each day of the week. Notice that what I said is I own one, I have to admit that after the first few weeks or maybe a couple of months I lose interest in filling it out daily. I don’t know, I can’t really say I lose interest as much as I think I’ll do it later, but don’t. I think we’ve gone over this…

Oh hey, let’s get back on track here. Where were we? Oh! Lists. Yeah, so I don’t think I have any pretty paper suitable for fall/winter list making so a trip to Michaels is probably in my near future. I’m going to have hours of riding in the car time to work on this so I’m going to have to write on boring plain paper and transfer to “final draft” on fancy paper. I guess this is good because my first draft is always a mess and I don’t really like wasting my good stock. Now, let’s talk pens. I have a very large array of pens. Ball point, sharpie, gel… in pretty much any color you might need. I tend to collect pens as much as I do paper (my paper stock is 95% scrapbook paper). However, it is time to go through and check them and throw out the bad ones.

Oh wow, look what time it is!! I HAVE to go finish getting ready for the long weekend! The husband is going to text me on his break and ask me if I’m about done and I’m going to say, “Yes, of course! What do you think I’ve been doing all morning”? The truth is, he knows me and he knows that when he gets home I’m going to ask him to help me with something I should have already had done. Good thing he loves me and thinks I’m cute because damn, I’m not sure I could put up with a person like myself. Ha!

Happy Labor Day weekend!

~Jane

Cookies? Anyone?

My mom said they were good but she’s my  mom and she can’t have sugar, so take it or leave it. 

Because writing in my blog has become my personal journal of sorts and because I can sit in my desk chair now, you will start seeing more of me. Some of you might know me personally since I posted my blog address on Facebook way back when I started it but most likely anyone actually reading this doesn’t. For the people who do know me, consider yourselves special insiders. I keep a lot in because that’s how I’m wired but a lot goes on in my head. A. Lot. I promised you randomness in the beginning, I won’t let you down. Ha!

We’ll take a little turn here and talk about cookies. Yes, cookies. I do a little business on the side baking cookies for a few regular clients and I really enjoy doing it. My signature cookie is a decorated sugar cookie, which is very time-consuming. I can’t share the recipe or my special tips and tricks that make mine stand out, but trust me, they are the best.

Sorry, I got side tracked again. Three ingredient peanut butter cookies… these are nothing special or new or even all that amazing except for that one fact. Three. Ingredients. Which means from start to finish, you have spent about 15 minutes of your time and you have some pretty decent cookies. This cookie recipe I can share with you, as well as an experiment I tried yesterday with not so great results, but hey, I tried.

THREE INGREDIENT PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES

1 cup peanut butter (I use creamy)

1 cup white sugar (some people use brown)

1 egg

Mix peanut butter and sugar until creamy, add egg. Mix until a dough forms. Roll into 1 inch balls, place on cookie sheet flatten in crisscross pattern with a fork and bake at 350 degrees for about 8 minutes. Cool for a few minutes on cookie sheet before moving to cooling rack (or you might have some crumbling). Cool completely before moving to containers. DONE!

My experiment: I replaced the sugar with Stevia (6 tablespoons of Stevia equals the one cup of sugar). The dough was a little stickier and the cookies no matter how much I adjusted the baking time came out dark and crumbly on the bottom. My mom said they were good but she’s my  mom and she can’t have sugar, so take it or leave it.

Happy baking!

~Jane

Unevenness

I think this post is really about uneven friendships and how they can be damaged. I still love my friend, I just realized that sometimes people take more than they can give.

Drama, not my thing. Never has been. I put up with it from some of my friends but never participate, and I call it like I see it. Most of them appreciate that, those that don’t keep their distance. I like to think  I am a “true friend” because I don’t judge or try to belittle anyone for how they are. Everyone is different, unique and come with their own quirks, oddities and life choices. Not everyone is a “true friend”.

I know this person that tells me everything. I mean EVERYTHING! I listen, give advice and tell them when I think they’re wrong or making stupid choices. What’s sad is the one time I really needed that perosn for a legitimate reason, not some high school drama crap they treated me like shit. What’s really the shittiest part is that I never expected that and it stung a little. I was definately taken aback.

I’ve been down, like literally down for almost 2 months for medical reasons that I won’t elaborate on here except to say it involved unexpected emergency surgery and a very long recovery period. So, I went to this person hoping for some cheering up, words of wisdom or just some company and she tells me she doesn’t know what to tell me and that she’s sure my other friends have tried to cheer me up and that I should be happy to be alive. Then, no response back for days… still waiting. Wow. Really?

Number 1, I am very happy to be alive and I thank God every day. Number 2, that doesn’t make every day easy to get through when you’re used to being very active and suddenly you can’t do anything. I think this post is really about uneven friendships and how they can be damaged. I still love my friend, I just realized that sometimes people take more than they can give. I mean I already knew that, for sure I’ve had my fair share of that in my life. but there’s just some people you think are different… until they’re not.

I honestly feel like I’ve lost something. Like I already had a feeling of loss and misery and then someone I trusted with my life added to my feelings of loss. I’m not sure how to describe that. Since I’ve never been one to ask for or accept help it was shocking that the one time I did, I got shut down. People wonder why I don’t open up and let anyone know “me”, I guess this is an example of why. One thing I do know is that I am resilient. I have been through some tough stuff before and while I always make it out “different” I always make it out “stronger” and “wiser”.

~Jane

 

 

I call BULLSHIT!!

I loved my mother and I felt guilty.

From the age of 9 I was blamed for an accident my mom had where she fell off a horse. I constantly heard her tell people about how I begged her to get on the horse and how she didn’t want to disappoint me. She even went as far as to tell people I knew the horse tripped on occasion but didn’t tell her about it. She rubbed that into my face every chance she got. She blamed me for all the pain she was in and how she couldn’t work because of it. I was 9 fucking years old. I loved my mother and I felt guilty.

I got a job when I turned 16. I felt so guilty because my mom couldn’t work and our family was poor, that I paid bills. Specifically the electric bill  so my siblings could have light, heat and hot water. I was always told how my cousin worked and just gave the check to my aunt and how nice that was and how thoughtful she was for doing that. Can you say pile on the guilt as high as you can get it? I even paid for school clothes and bought toys. Eventually, I ended up quitting school to pay bills because that was what I was “suppose to do”. It was my fault my mother couldn’t go to work.

I guess she started to feel entitled because she began showing up to my work every payday. This didn’t go unnoticed by coworkers or my bosses. They started telling her I wasn’t there even when I was. I finally broke free of that when I turned 18 by just leaving.

More recently, my mother guilted me into quitting my dream job because my dad is dying and she “just couldn’t do all the running around for appointments” because her back and neck just wouldn’t allow it. You know, because of that fall she took off my horse back in 1979. Being the person I am, I did it. I quit my job; because family is first, right? I started taking them to their appointments and what do you think I found out…?

There’s not a fucking thing wrong with her back and her neck problem is very minor (enough to cause discomfort but not really a lot of pain) of course she’s saying she has to have surgery but she doesn’t HAVE to, it’s elective. All those years of being made to feel guilt, quitting school and my job. For what? Because she wanted more “mother-daughter time”? Because she really has no idea what she has done to me? Because she’s selfish? Because she just really doesn’t give a shit about me or my success in life? I will NEVER understand this.

I’m literally about to vomit. How can a mother treat her own child like that? I am so angry. I apologize for the language, it’s not my normal demeanor. I can’t even begin to explain how I feel right now. Her “poor me” bullshit has come to a halt with me, I refuse to put up with it anymore. I’ll probably end up hurting her feelings but that will be an act too. I’m just done.

~Jane

Have you considered this yet?

One thing you probably never thought of as a new parent, most likely not until your children were approaching adulthood, is that they will eventually multiply. If you started out with 3 kids, you’re probably going to end up with 6, if you’re lucky.  If you’re really lucky, you will like your new children.

Now that you’re thinking about the inevitable, consider this; you may not end up with an equal number of boys and girls. Initially this may come as a shock to you, as it did me, but really it’s not the end of the world so don’t let it be.

All three of my children were “easy”, we are really blessed with each of them. No real drama, no drugs or super bad choices and all high school and college graduates. They are all each others’ best friend and my heart couldn’t be happier! Now that they are grown and we are starting to get our “new” kids, it’s exciting! Whoever they choose to spend their lives with is fine with me. If they are happy, treated with love, kindness and respect then I am happy!

Now, the really fun part… the second multiplication! This time you could end up with any number of “new” children, GRAND children!! So far we have been blessed with only one, a baby girl, but oh my she has her grandma and grandpa wrapped around her little finger!! There is nothing we wouldn’t do for any of our eventual 6 kids and undisclosed number of grand kids. NOTHING.

Family is what matters in this life, treat it with kindness, understanding, respect and MUCH LOVE!!

~Jane